About Me
- WOT.
- i made this..to let people know what gose in my life and my head..mwaha R.I.P MJ gone but not forgoten.
Thursday, 2 July 2009
Izzy && Me very bored one day hahah
Okay..this is how sad we are...hope you enjoy it mert ;)...
CAST [HOUSEHOLD]:
Betty - as herself.
Izzy - as herself.
Richard III - the pet monkey from West London, who is an alcoholic, but thinks at a tremendous speed - he is the smartest being in the entire house. He has an unbelievably posh accent and misses London a lot. He also wears a monocle.
Mum - Extremely bossy and grumpy, her voice was what made Nan go deaf in one ear.
Dad - huge, muscley, scary-looking bloke, but very quiet and wouldn’t hurt a fly. Kind of like Kronk from The Emperors New Groove.
Auntie Fizz - Mum’s older sister, very quiet and kind and helpful, but no one notices her and she has very bad luck.
Nan - Dad’s mum - has gone slightly mad with happiness ever since her 9th husband died, but pretends to be upset about it. Always seems to get all the men.
Uncle - Lives in the basement, was last seen in 1986.
Another typical day at the Baileys:
MUM: BREEEEEEEEEEEAKFAAAAAAAAAAAAST!!!!!!!!!!!
*sound of breaking glass*
*sound of a cat screeching*
IZZY: We’d better do as we’re told - the last time we didn’t, poor Auntie Fizz had to pay.
BETTY: I DON’T CARE - NOW GO AND GET ME SOME BACON!!! I’VE GOT A
HANGOVER!!!!!!
IZZY: What?! For god sake Betty, have you been raiding Richard’s “medicine” cabinet again?
RICHARD [APPEARING OUT OF NOWHERE]: It would appear so. And you know how I become when I don’t take my medication. You have been warned!
IZZY: Richard, everyone knows it’s whiskey and God knows what else.
BETTY: Yes, so stop making out you need it all the fucking time! Will SOMEONE get me some shitting breakfast, my immune system is having a nervous fucking breakdown here!
IZZY: Alright, alright, I’ll get it…
Izzy is in the kitchen, eating her breakfast and getting Betty’s.
MUM: IZZY!!! GO AND BRING YOUR UNCLE HIS BREAKFAST!
IZZY: I’m not going in there! I’ve seen things go in there, and they ain’t come out!!!
Mum starts screaming,
2 MINUTES LATER -
IZZY [WALKING INTO THE BEDROOM]: Okay, I got bacon but we’re out of bread, so- *sees what’s going on* WHAT THE FUCK!?!
BETTY [TRYING TO CLAW RICHARD’S EYES OUT]: YOU EVIL LITTLE SHIT!!! I’M GONNA MAKE SURE YOU CAN’T HAVE ANY BABIES!!!!!!
RICHARD [TRYING TO PULL BETTY’S HAIR OUT]: I WOULD SAY THE SAME FOR YOU, BUT SEEING AS HOW NO ONE WOULD DREAM OF HAVING YOUR DISGUSTING OFFSPRING, I SHAN’T BOTHER!!!!!!!!!!
IZZY [BREAKING THEM APART]: YOU TWO!!! I think maybe it’s time we stopped sharing a room with Richard, Betty.
RICHARD: But this is preposterous! Where shall I sleep? You cannot possibly expect me to stay in your mother’s closet after last time we tried that!
BETTY: Oooh yes, I remember that. Good times, eh?
RICHARD: For someone as simple as you, maybe, but I prefer my humour to have a lot less suffering primates!
IZZY: Do you still have the bite marks?
RICHARD [GOING TO HIS “MEDICINE” CABINET]: I… don’t like to talk about it…
4 HOURS LATER…
Betty is sprinting through the street naked, with the tired police following. She is arrested and taken to the police station.
RICHARD: *sigh*… Let’s go and get her then… *takes out a blackboard and draws the 23rd line*
IZZY: OK, but you’re driving… it’s safer for you to drive drunk than it is for me to drive sober!
RICHARD: True, true…
5 MINUTES LATER -
Izzy and Richard arrive at the station and take their usual seats.
IZZY: Alright, Ted? How’s the wife?
OFFICER TED: Oh, same as ever, still not dead yet. Here for Betty?
IZZY [ROLLING EYES]: Yeah…
OFFICER TED: Okay, follow me you two---
IZZY [INTERRUPTING]: We know where to go, don’t worry about it.
OFFICER TED: Fair enough - I s’pose it’ll give me more sleeping time.
Izzy and Richard arrive at Betty’s usual cell. She is reading a magazine.
BETTY: Oh hey, Izzy!
IZZY: Betty, next time this happens, I’m not gonna come and bail you out, OK!
BETTY: You said that last time - AND the time before that. Anyway, let’s be on our way. I wonder what’s for tea?
1 HOUR LATER…
Having tea in the dining room.
It is processed shepherds pie. Everyone in the entire household hates shepherds pie, even Mum who bought it. No one dares to ask why she bought it.
BETTY [WHILST POURING HER FOOD ON TO AUNTIE FIZZ’S PLATE]: So Dad, anything exciting happen today?
MUM: He will not answer! He has taken a vow of silence!
Dad does the chopping off movement to his neck.
Mum turns around with a furious look on her face.
MUM: SHUT UP! And Richard, stop smoking at the dinner table!!!
NAN: SSSHHH!!! I CAN HEAR ERIC!!!!!!
ERIC: I’M NOT EVEN DEAD!!! YOU’VE GOTTA LISTEN TO ME, PEOPLE! THIS WOMAN IS EVIL!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEVIL!!!!!
Izzy turns around and sees a turntable repeating “Eeeeevil!!!” over and over.
Everyone starts to panic and throw things around. In the midst of all the commotion, Izzy, Betty and Richard slowly make their way out of the dining room.
1 HOUR LATER…
Izzy, Betty and Richard are in their bedroom, trying to resolve Richard’s bedroom situation.
IZZY [GETTING A RED BOARD MARKER PEN OUT OF THE DRAWER]: Okay, I think what we need to do is draw a line in the middle of the room. This is our half, and Richard, this is your half. You need to pay twenty pounds to enter our half!
RICHARD: But your half is where the door is! How is one supposed to pay twenty English pounds every time one needs to use the lavatory?!?
BETTY: Hard luck, Richard… *makes faces and sticks middle finger up at him when Izzy is looking away*
RICHARD [RUNNING TOWARDS BETTY]: Why, you evil little pile of horse faeces!!!
IZZY AND BETTY TOGETHER: That’ll be twenty pounds, please.
Richard goes to his “medicine” cabinet.
John *who is ginger* comes out the wall and says
John: Fuck! You got me dirty.. Now I have to go and clean this..
IZZY: Betty, How long has he been there…and where did you get him?…
BETTY: Ohh he has been there for about 3 weeks now..and I got him from Iceland for half price mate…
Kerry katona comes out of nowhere and says
Kerry: That’s why mom’s go to Iceland!!
Izzy sends Kerry out of the house…betty is angry
The man tells his whole family to get out of the wall and the boy said to izzy
Boy: Go bold love…
IZZY: 3 WEEKS BETTY!!…..
END OF EPISODE…
CAST [HOUSEHOLD]:
Betty - as herself.
Izzy - as herself.
Richard III - the pet monkey from West London, who is an alcoholic, but thinks at a tremendous speed - he is the smartest being in the entire house. He has an unbelievably posh accent and misses London a lot. He also wears a monocle.
Mum - Extremely bossy and grumpy, her voice was what made Nan go deaf in one ear.
Dad - huge, muscley, scary-looking bloke, but very quiet and wouldn’t hurt a fly. Kind of like Kronk from The Emperors New Groove.
Auntie Fizz - Mum’s older sister, very quiet and kind and helpful, but no one notices her and she has very bad luck.
Nan - Dad’s mum - has gone slightly mad with happiness ever since her 9th husband died, but pretends to be upset about it. Always seems to get all the men.
Uncle - Lives in the basement, was last seen in 1986.
Another typical day at the Baileys:
MUM: BREEEEEEEEEEEAKFAAAAAAAAAAAAST!!!!!!!!!!!
*sound of breaking glass*
*sound of a cat screeching*
IZZY: We’d better do as we’re told - the last time we didn’t, poor Auntie Fizz had to pay.
BETTY: I DON’T CARE - NOW GO AND GET ME SOME BACON!!! I’VE GOT A
HANGOVER!!!!!!
IZZY: What?! For god sake Betty, have you been raiding Richard’s “medicine” cabinet again?
RICHARD [APPEARING OUT OF NOWHERE]: It would appear so. And you know how I become when I don’t take my medication. You have been warned!
IZZY: Richard, everyone knows it’s whiskey and God knows what else.
BETTY: Yes, so stop making out you need it all the fucking time! Will SOMEONE get me some shitting breakfast, my immune system is having a nervous fucking breakdown here!
IZZY: Alright, alright, I’ll get it…
Izzy is in the kitchen, eating her breakfast and getting Betty’s.
MUM: IZZY!!! GO AND BRING YOUR UNCLE HIS BREAKFAST!
IZZY: I’m not going in there! I’ve seen things go in there, and they ain’t come out!!!
Mum starts screaming,
2 MINUTES LATER -
IZZY [WALKING INTO THE BEDROOM]: Okay, I got bacon but we’re out of bread, so- *sees what’s going on* WHAT THE FUCK!?!
BETTY [TRYING TO CLAW RICHARD’S EYES OUT]: YOU EVIL LITTLE SHIT!!! I’M GONNA MAKE SURE YOU CAN’T HAVE ANY BABIES!!!!!!
RICHARD [TRYING TO PULL BETTY’S HAIR OUT]: I WOULD SAY THE SAME FOR YOU, BUT SEEING AS HOW NO ONE WOULD DREAM OF HAVING YOUR DISGUSTING OFFSPRING, I SHAN’T BOTHER!!!!!!!!!!
IZZY [BREAKING THEM APART]: YOU TWO!!! I think maybe it’s time we stopped sharing a room with Richard, Betty.
RICHARD: But this is preposterous! Where shall I sleep? You cannot possibly expect me to stay in your mother’s closet after last time we tried that!
BETTY: Oooh yes, I remember that. Good times, eh?
RICHARD: For someone as simple as you, maybe, but I prefer my humour to have a lot less suffering primates!
IZZY: Do you still have the bite marks?
RICHARD [GOING TO HIS “MEDICINE” CABINET]: I… don’t like to talk about it…
4 HOURS LATER…
Betty is sprinting through the street naked, with the tired police following. She is arrested and taken to the police station.
RICHARD: *sigh*… Let’s go and get her then… *takes out a blackboard and draws the 23rd line*
IZZY: OK, but you’re driving… it’s safer for you to drive drunk than it is for me to drive sober!
RICHARD: True, true…
5 MINUTES LATER -
Izzy and Richard arrive at the station and take their usual seats.
IZZY: Alright, Ted? How’s the wife?
OFFICER TED: Oh, same as ever, still not dead yet. Here for Betty?
IZZY [ROLLING EYES]: Yeah…
OFFICER TED: Okay, follow me you two---
IZZY [INTERRUPTING]: We know where to go, don’t worry about it.
OFFICER TED: Fair enough - I s’pose it’ll give me more sleeping time.
Izzy and Richard arrive at Betty’s usual cell. She is reading a magazine.
BETTY: Oh hey, Izzy!
IZZY: Betty, next time this happens, I’m not gonna come and bail you out, OK!
BETTY: You said that last time - AND the time before that. Anyway, let’s be on our way. I wonder what’s for tea?
1 HOUR LATER…
Having tea in the dining room.
It is processed shepherds pie. Everyone in the entire household hates shepherds pie, even Mum who bought it. No one dares to ask why she bought it.
BETTY [WHILST POURING HER FOOD ON TO AUNTIE FIZZ’S PLATE]: So Dad, anything exciting happen today?
MUM: He will not answer! He has taken a vow of silence!
Dad does the chopping off movement to his neck.
Mum turns around with a furious look on her face.
MUM: SHUT UP! And Richard, stop smoking at the dinner table!!!
NAN: SSSHHH!!! I CAN HEAR ERIC!!!!!!
ERIC: I’M NOT EVEN DEAD!!! YOU’VE GOTTA LISTEN TO ME, PEOPLE! THIS WOMAN IS EVIL!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEVIL!!!!!
Izzy turns around and sees a turntable repeating “Eeeeevil!!!” over and over.
Everyone starts to panic and throw things around. In the midst of all the commotion, Izzy, Betty and Richard slowly make their way out of the dining room.
1 HOUR LATER…
Izzy, Betty and Richard are in their bedroom, trying to resolve Richard’s bedroom situation.
IZZY [GETTING A RED BOARD MARKER PEN OUT OF THE DRAWER]: Okay, I think what we need to do is draw a line in the middle of the room. This is our half, and Richard, this is your half. You need to pay twenty pounds to enter our half!
RICHARD: But your half is where the door is! How is one supposed to pay twenty English pounds every time one needs to use the lavatory?!?
BETTY: Hard luck, Richard… *makes faces and sticks middle finger up at him when Izzy is looking away*
RICHARD [RUNNING TOWARDS BETTY]: Why, you evil little pile of horse faeces!!!
IZZY AND BETTY TOGETHER: That’ll be twenty pounds, please.
Richard goes to his “medicine” cabinet.
John *who is ginger* comes out the wall and says
John: Fuck! You got me dirty.. Now I have to go and clean this..
IZZY: Betty, How long has he been there…and where did you get him?…
BETTY: Ohh he has been there for about 3 weeks now..and I got him from Iceland for half price mate…
Kerry katona comes out of nowhere and says
Kerry: That’s why mom’s go to Iceland!!
Izzy sends Kerry out of the house…betty is angry
The man tells his whole family to get out of the wall and the boy said to izzy
Boy: Go bold love…
IZZY: 3 WEEKS BETTY!!…..
END OF EPISODE…
Wednesday, 1 July 2009
moving to finland
Sooo...this is it man...i have had as much fun as i have with my friends in London and my last day in school.i will miss each and everyone one of them fuckers back there...this friday cming up i am leaving England at 4am i will be leaving my house...and when your son of a bitches are in school at 9am i will be on the airoplane and offffffff!
the thing is...i have been here in england the whole time for the week.i will tell you why
on the day i came back on the sunday after the london trip i walk home into the door and this is what happend
MUM: "Ohhh hello betty, i have missed you so much.how was London noice?"
dad walks in from the "shower" (he text me earlia to tell me to walk home from school because he was in the shower..but i think it was just lazy...he didn't even smelll nice but anyway)
DAD: " Ohh...betty...your back..great ¬¬ another eactra black person...meh..how was London eh?"
ME: urmm hi..i am tierd sweaty and hot..i dont want to talk..i have a BLT sandwich in my bag witch i am wanting to eat..so bye
MUM: ohh wait betty.come down...i forgot to tell you on friday before you went that..we are now going next frienday not tomorow (MONDAY WITCH I WAS MENT TO GO)
ME: WHAT??!!!??? so i have to spend a week knowing i could see my friends and go to school..and you didn't tell me ???urgh..black peopel
MUM: you two have to stop talking about black peopel..and i am sorry betty i forgot
ME: great
DAD: ii am going to the shower..
ME: i thought you went
DAD: ohh what??did i say that...i have to go..i think my phone is going
ETC
and so i was going to come on thrusday to school and suprise you guy;s but i can't because i am packing and that shit..but yeah :D i am sorry veveryone that i told i was in finland i wanted it to be a suprise if i went to school willy nilly..(i just said willy).
OMFG HAYLEY SIGN IN AGAINE! woo ;)
the thing is...i have been here in england the whole time for the week.i will tell you why
on the day i came back on the sunday after the london trip i walk home into the door and this is what happend
MUM: "Ohhh hello betty, i have missed you so much.how was London noice?"
dad walks in from the "shower" (he text me earlia to tell me to walk home from school because he was in the shower..but i think it was just lazy...he didn't even smelll nice but anyway)
DAD: " Ohh...betty...your back..great ¬¬ another eactra black person...meh..how was London eh?"
ME: urmm hi..i am tierd sweaty and hot..i dont want to talk..i have a BLT sandwich in my bag witch i am wanting to eat..so bye
MUM: ohh wait betty.come down...i forgot to tell you on friday before you went that..we are now going next frienday not tomorow (MONDAY WITCH I WAS MENT TO GO)
ME: WHAT??!!!??? so i have to spend a week knowing i could see my friends and go to school..and you didn't tell me ???urgh..black peopel
MUM: you two have to stop talking about black peopel..and i am sorry betty i forgot
ME: great
DAD: ii am going to the shower..
ME: i thought you went
DAD: ohh what??did i say that...i have to go..i think my phone is going
ETC
and so i was going to come on thrusday to school and suprise you guy;s but i can't because i am packing and that shit..but yeah :D i am sorry veveryone that i told i was in finland i wanted it to be a suprise if i went to school willy nilly..(i just said willy).
OMFG HAYLEY SIGN IN AGAINE! woo ;)
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